I’m in love with my wife’s best friend and it is making me ill | Dear Mariella

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Focus on your marriage first – and deal with it kindly. Then decide what to do next. That’s the grown-up thing to do

The dilemma I’m in love with my wife’s close friend. These feelings built up over four years, and when we were drunk one night, I told her. She said she felt the same. Months later we met and chatted, but the net result is, because of her friendship with my wife, nothing could happen. She is now in another relationship and has moved on. I understand I’m the bad guy here, but it hurts that it’s circumstance rather than her not being interested in me.

I’m struggling. I’ve fallen totally in love and think about her every waking minute. I think she represents everything that is missing in my current marriage – the spark for me has gone. I love my wife and care about her, but ultimately don’t fancy her any more. Is this normal for a marriage of 12 years? Should I be content with a woman who loves me, or does it mean I have some sort of mental issue for not being able to move on and enjoy life?

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from The Guardian https://ift.tt/2uLyqQC

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